Life goes on...

Once again, it has been a while since I have posted on this blog. Another summer has passed and school is back in session. I love September in Wisconsin. The air is fresh, a far cry from this summer which was brutal. The leaves are just now starting to change color. And I am back to a somewhat normal routine. The only difference is that I am taking a sabbatical from the Milwaukee Symphony Chorus after 13 seasons. I needed a break. No sooner had I started that sabbatical that I was invited to join the Bel Canto Chorus as an alternate section leader. I agreed to do just that. I wanted to give my voice a rest, but I couldn't say no to an opportunity to sing a new piece called "The World Beloved: A Bluegrass Mass" in October. It's a really unique and fun piece.

I'll get to see my son in the flesh for the first time in nearly two years this week as he comes from western Wisconsin to visit the family. I miss my boy, but I'm proud of him. He's working hard to make his place in the world.

It's been three years since my major illness, and I am feeling great. I've dropped nearly 60 pounds since September '07, something I had thought I couldn't do before the gallbladder operation. Lifestyle changes make all the difference.

I just celebrated my two-year anniversary of being the morning host for the World Classical Network. I would, however, like to return to a radio studio and be a DJ, interacting with the sudience. Jobs, however, are scarce. In the past three years, opportunities arose at classical stations in Chicago, Rochester, NY, and Boston. I applied for them all and was interviewed, but struck out each time. It is competitive, to be sure. I know God has a plan for me, and I will continue to seek His will.

And I continue to work in the spreading of His Kingdom by serving my parish, my diocese, and the Episcopal Church in leadership roles. I will be associate coordinator of a Faith Alive weekend in Detroit in November, and serving on a Faith Alive team in Ames, Iowa in December. I continue to serve on the diocesan Executive Council, and am hoping to be elected as a deputy to the 77th General Convention in Indianapolis in 2012 at our upcoming diocesan convention in October in Milwaukee, where we will be graced by our Presiding Bishop, the Most Rev. Katharine Jefferts Schori.

May God continue to bless you richly, as He has done with me. Pacem.

Elisabeth Witte

I'm taking a moment here on this date, Thursday, March 25, 2010, to share my thoughts and feelings about my dear friend and fellow Milwaukee Symphony Chorus member Elisabeth Witte, who was senselessly stabbed to death exactly 22 months ago by her ex-husband, Dr. Gerhard Witte. Dr. Witte was found guilty of murder in the first degree and was found to be criminally sane at the time of the murder.

This case has reopened old wounds for me. Elisabeth and I were very close friends ever since I joined the Milwaukee Symphony Chorus in January 1998. She came from Germany, and her distinctive accent and voice was used in commercials for the Osthoff Resort in Elkhart Lake, WI when I was the program director at WFMR, my old classical radio station. She always spoke glowingly of her three children, and she always gave me either a hug or a hand squeeze when she passed me at rehearsals. One day back in 2005 after rehearsal, she took me aside and asked me to walk out with her to her car. I had no idea why, but I did it because I enjoyed her company. She later told me that her husband was stalking her, and she feared for her life. I didn't want to believe that, but I saw the fear in her eyes and in her actions. Her fear was so strong, she fled to Germany for a while. Even then, her now ex-husband followed her there. She came back to Milwaukee and sang with us for the 2007-2008 season.

The last time I saw Elisabeth alive was after we sang our final concert of the season, J.S. Bach's Mass in B minor at Uihlein Hall in Milwaukee. I was on my way to celebrate after the concert with fellow singers at Water Street Brewery. I passed Elisabeth backstage and said, "See you later." She smiled and said, "Bye, Steve." Elisabeth went to Eagan's, across the street from Water Street Brewery. It was a late night for us at the Brewery. At about 12:40 AM, I went outside to wait for my ride to pick me up. I did something at that time I don't normally do...look up at a lit-up building, specifically the parking structure where Elisabeth was ultimately killed (the murder happened at about that same time - 12:40 AM). But I thought nothing of it. The timing, though, was haunting in retrospect.

The next day, which was a Sunday, I was at home when I received a telephone call from a friend and fellow singer, who told me of Elisabeth's murder. I was shocked, stunned, and started sobbing uncontrollably. My worst fears had come true.

I had to drive to Kansas City, Missouri the next day to introduce an Episcopal congregation to a movement I am involved with, Faith Alive. Before I left town, I was drawn to the parking structure where Elisabeth lost her life. It was about 5:30 AM when I went to where she was killed. The elevator reeked of bleach, as was the second story exit to the parking garage. The bleach was all over the place. The area was well sanitized. All I could do was sob and pray for Elisabeth's soul and for her three children. I drove to KC through southern Wisconsin, Iowa, and Missouri, occasionally stopping to cry some more. Once at the church in KC, I shared my emotions with people I did not know, but who welcomed and comforted me in my moment of grief. I am eternally grateful to them for their Christian kindness.

Seeing Elisabeth in the casket and her children near her at the wake before the funeral was very tough, but the kids were strong throughout the whole ordeal. Singing with the Chorus at the funeral was cathartic. When the casket passed me on its way out, I said to Elisabeth again, "See you later." I have no doubt I will see her again in Heaven.

I shared the story of Elisabeth's killing at the 76th General Convention of the Episcopal Church in Anaheim, California in July 2009, where I was a lay deputy representing the Diocese of Milwaukee in the House of Deputies. There was a resolution (D096 - Prevention of Domestic Violence) that I spoke to on the floor of the House. I only had two minutes to speak, but those two minutes were from the heart for Elisabeth and her children. The resolution passed unanimously in both the House of Deputies and the House of Bishops.

There are very few days when I don't think of Elisabeth and how much she meant to me. She is always on my mind at every Chorus rehearsal and concert, especially when we sing a German piece. I didn't know jack about the nuances of the German language until I heard Elisabeth coach us. How much more authentic can you get than with her? I think of her three children, all wonderful people, and pray for them often. They effectively lost both their parents in one moment of a senseless act of rage and became virtual orphans. I and many others lost a dear friend.

How do I feel about Elisabeth's ex? Dr. Witte is a very disturbed man who deserved what he got...life without the chance of parole. His trial was so bizarre (he chose to represent himself), but I am glad it didn't last long. It's tough to forgive him for what he did, but I was taught to forgive the sins of others, even for a crime as heinous as this. While I am still angry and bitter at what Dr. Witte did, only God can mete out his ultimate sentence.

One of my fellow singers, Marcia Brooks (another good friend of Elisabeth's), suggested this link to connect to the Sojourner Family Peace Center in Milwaukee. They are a leader in the community effort that offers every victim of domestic violence access to effective and complete programs required to achieve a life free of violence. If you knew Elisabeth, consider making a gift to the Sojourner Truth House in her memory and help in their efforts to stop domestic violence.

To the children...Gerhard, Erik, and Karin...I continue to pray for them and hope they can lead as normal a life as possible in spite of all that has happened.

Rest in peace, my dear Elisabeth. "Machs gut."

It's been a while...

This is my first blog since last January. It's as good a time to make an entry as any...

I am sitting at my computer taking stock of things as the unofficial end of summer is on us. The Red Sox are fighting to make it to the playoffs, the Patriots seem to look good, and the Brewers are, well, the Brewers. It's been a very interesting summer for me, highlighted by my trip to the Episcopal Church General Convention in Anaheim, CA as a legislative member of the House of Deputies representing the Diocese of Milwaukee. I had to make some very difficult votes, some of which were some of the toughest decisions I have made in my life, but I am comfortable with them, knowing that I am a Christian who has sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. I am thankful to God for His grace and love.

I also had the chance to head back to New England for the first time in years to visit the people and places I hold most dear to me. Seeing my in-laws, mom, sister, nieces, brothers, and friends, as well as visiting Boston and Cape Cod, were very cathartic for me. I miss my family a lot, but my wife and I want to try to make a trip out there every year.

Life is still a struggle, but by God's grace, we are doing all right. Next week, the roof on our condo will be replaced. We had to drain everything we had in order to play for it, but in the long run, it should help the resale value of the condo.

God's peace.

Steve

A historic day for America

What a day...January 20, 2009. Barack Obama is now the President of the United States. 'Nuf ced.

I was thrilled to hear three people at the inauguration who I either have interviewed on the radio or introduced at concerts: violinist Itzhak Perlman, pianist Gabriela Montero, and cellist Yo-Yo Ma, as they played an arrangement of Simple Gifts before Obama took the oath of office. Their playing moved me to tears...it was so beautiful.

(LATE FLASH on 1/23...it was a recording made 2 days earlier that we heard. The cold weather would've wreaked havoc on the instruments.) See this link:

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2009/01/22/famed-quartet-played-recordings-tunes-inauguration/

Let us hope that this new administration will help get the country's economic engine going again, and as Obama said, it takes all of us to make it happen.

Pacem.

Namasté

Today I saw an old friend, Fr. John Groff. He came to my church as a supply priest and celebrated Mass. Fr. Groff is a good man and is one of the most spiritual people I've ever come across in my Christian walk. I met him for the first time in 2002 as I was discerning a call to the diaconate, a calling in which I ultimately deferred to a later time. He spoke with me in depth about spirituality and made me think about where I was in my own spiritual walk with Jesus. Later, as we were between priests at my church in 2007, he came and celebrated Mass several times. One of his homilies at that time centered around the concept of Namasté (नमस्ते), a Sanskrit word meaning, "The Light of God in Me recognizes and honors The Light of God in You and in that recognition is our Oneness." This concept is similar to a prayer that my former priest, Fr. Jay Lambert, would recite when he did monthly birthday/anniversary blessings: "May you see the Christ in all the people you meet." Fr. Groff opened my eyes to a deeply moving spiritual epiphany. I'm sad to admit that in many facets of my life, I failed to see The Light of God in others and myself. I was self-centered and was in many ways like a bull in a china shop, wanting to do things my way, without spiritual direction. As I dwelled on the words of Fr. Groff, and later studied what Namasté was about, my eyes opened, and opened widely. In the Holy Gospel according to Matthew (20:32-34), there is this passage that spoke to me:

And stopping, Jesus called them and said, “What do you want me to do for you?” They said to him, “Lord, let our eyes be opened.” And Jesus in pity touched their eyes, and immediately they recovered their sight and followed him.

To see The Light of God in myself and in others is a most wonderful thing, and I'm still learning how to do this. Thanks be to God for this great gift.

Lord, may I be worthy to be your humble servant, and to experience the joy of Namasté in my life and the lives of others. Amen.

Pacem.

Th..th..th..th..the c-c-c-cold...

I remember when I told people I was moving to Milwaukee back in 1997, they told me that I wouldn't like the cold winters here. To be honest, I don't mind the winters here, as long as I don't have to be out in it for too long! I like experiencing all the seasons (except a hot, humid summer day).

Tonight's low is expected to be -9° with a wind chill of -30°. Tomorrow night will be even colder. Time to turn on the gas fireplace.

School has been canceled for most of the Milwaukee area tomorrow...smart move. I wonder if Friday will be canceled as well.

Wherever you are, stay warm!

ABC's 20/20 broadcast - Vanished: Missing in Milwaukee

Tonight's 20/20 broadcast on ABC told a sad story of a young Milwaukee-area woman named Becky Marie (Kraemer) Marzo who went missing in December 2003 and is presumed dead (possibly murdered by her boyfriend, who himself committed suicide). A clip of the piece (reported by Elizabeth Vargas) is at:

http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=6597021

There is a website about Becky:

http://findbeckykraemer.com/

The story doesn't exactly paint Milwaukee in a nice light, but it is a compelling story, of which there may never be closure for Becky's family.